Wedding Small Talk

Photo of bride and groom cutting wedding cake*Author’s note: this is another re-upload, a short post I wrote roughly two years ago on an old freebie blog I had. Since it was about this time two years ago I proposed to my now-wife (and since I am barren to write much at this point in the week and have extra blog-fodder sitting aside), I found it appropriate to republish this.

It’s basically me giving a highly annoyed critique and social commentary on several trite sayings I heard over and over again as a betrothed man. In other words, it’s me complaining and generally being a curmudgeon about pre-wedding conversation. Enjoy my excessively peevish ramblings!*



In three weeks on this day I will be married. I’m ready for this whole ordeal to be finished! (Not the marriage, but the wedding crap)

I could post about how excited I am, or about how important marriage is in culture today. But instead I’m going to complain about day-to-day small talk concerning my impending matrimony and all the events surrounding.

Over the last few months I’ve heard some pretty dumb things. These conversations are tiring:

“You’re involved with planning the wedding?”

“The groom is rarely if ever involved in the wedding planning!” (Or “my husband didn’t do anything to help plan!” or “my wife took all that over!”)

What a surprise. Discouraging unity before a wedding is a great idea. You’re gonna get married, but you’re not gonna come together on how you get married… interesting.

If you can’t even use teamwork to plan your wedding, how will you plan your future and day-to-day life together?

“Are you nervous?”

Photo of a girl in a dress looking at herself in a mirrorNo. If either me or my bride were nervous about getting married in front of a bunch of people we mostly know, then maybe we shouldn’t be getting married. When you have no doubts, no questions, and no “if’s” that could get between you and your spouse-to-be, you should not be nervous.

And just to clarify, I’m not talking about simply getting stage fright or the jitters because you’re up on stage with everyone watching. I’m talking about being nervous about the future of your marriage.

Apparently this is a real thing. People actually get nervous because they don’t know what’s going to happen or if it will “work out.” Don’t get married if that is the case. I know that’s not the main meaning behind this question, but it’s a possible implication. And my answer is “no.”

See related: Live-In Boyfriends: Stop Being Cowards

“She’ll have you trained sooner or later.”

(and other such mindless, sexist nonsense about “training” and what have you)

I’m not an animal. (At least not outside of bed. Right, right!?) I’m not going to be in a circus of a marriage like yours. In my marriage, it is the man who leads the household, the relationship, and the spirituality. She will correct me if I need to be corrected, but let’s stop this drivel about “training.”

I am not part of this culture that says all men are sniveling, sex-crazed idiots. My life is not a modern sitcom. My wife is not my boss. She does not have “veto power.” We work together to solve problems and make decisions. End of story.


All that being said, I want my readers to know that I admit… I’m being a bit harsh here. I probably won’t actually be annoyed if you say any of this junk to me (if I am, you won’t know) and I’m certainly not targeting anyone in particular. Overall, though, I think it’s pretty sad what people think about marriage. As far as culture and our values as a nation, it’s telling.

In any case, I’m looking forward to the wedding. Maybe I’ll see you there?

And if I did see you there, I was glad to. I’m also glad to be married now for nearly two years.  Did you hear stupid stuff before you got married? If so, I’d love you to share about it by commenting below. Thanks for reading!


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